promise.

after reading what i wrote at the end of last summer i vow to not feel the same way this August. i will get a tan even if i am working hard and i will spend time with ALL the people that i love! having opportunities in life is awesome but loving people and being loved is so much better.

Here we go.
Summer 2010.

insight

when you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you - lao tzu

better

so Europe was wonderful.
things are slowly falling into place.
i am surrounded by loved ones.
life is good.
quite a change from a month ago.
thank you Jesus.
no more crumbling for a while.

awful

well.
i fell asleep last night with my arms wrapped around my own body so that i wouldn't fall apart or so my heart wouldn't crumble into a million pieces and pierce my skin one by one as it runs away from me.
this is terrible.
it has to stop.

jealousy really is a monster

wow my life's timing is not ending up the way i thought it would.
other people are getting my life story and i am not o.k. with that.
and not being o.k. with that is not o.k. with me.
wow i need a lesson in patience.
God - help.

Things are good. I'm stressed but actually... things are great.

Psalm 59:16 - "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love, for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

Thank God for all the times that I feel like I can't handle my life and He pushes me through and keeps me going.

wow i am an idiot.

what is the matter with my brain?