awful

well.
i fell asleep last night with my arms wrapped around my own body so that i wouldn't fall apart or so my heart wouldn't crumble into a million pieces and pierce my skin one by one as it runs away from me.
this is terrible.
it has to stop.

jealousy really is a monster

wow my life's timing is not ending up the way i thought it would.
other people are getting my life story and i am not o.k. with that.
and not being o.k. with that is not o.k. with me.
wow i need a lesson in patience.
God - help.

Things are good. I'm stressed but actually... things are great.

Psalm 59:16 - "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love, for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

Thank God for all the times that I feel like I can't handle my life and He pushes me through and keeps me going.

wow i am an idiot.

what is the matter with my brain?

school days

being here is making me the happiest i have been in a long time.

i love boers cottage and i love the ladies that i have been blessed to live with.

each day is an adventure, even so far.

i could not be more satisfied with my life right now.

i have...

regrets.
i didn't do anything this summer.
i worked.
very hard.
and i made money.
but what good is that.
i have no tan.
i didn't do anything exciting.
bummer.
this year at school looks so promising.
i can't wait.
i love my friends.
summer is over.
but school is coming.
and school will be the best 8 months of my life.

starry marbles

i was floating in my pool looking up at the stars and it just made me think how awesome God is. it looked like each and every star had been placed by hand into the perfect charcoal painting for me to look at. sometimes i feel like earth is a marble and God holds us in his hands and keeps us safe while smiling down, watching and loving us.

Psalm 67:8-9
Bless our God, O peoples, and sounds His praise abroad, who keeps us in life and does not allow our feet to slip.