better

so Europe was wonderful.
things are slowly falling into place.
i am surrounded by loved ones.
life is good.
quite a change from a month ago.
thank you Jesus.
no more crumbling for a while.

awful

well.
i fell asleep last night with my arms wrapped around my own body so that i wouldn't fall apart or so my heart wouldn't crumble into a million pieces and pierce my skin one by one as it runs away from me.
this is terrible.
it has to stop.

jealousy really is a monster

wow my life's timing is not ending up the way i thought it would.
other people are getting my life story and i am not o.k. with that.
and not being o.k. with that is not o.k. with me.
wow i need a lesson in patience.
God - help.

Things are good. I'm stressed but actually... things are great.

Psalm 59:16 - "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love, for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

Thank God for all the times that I feel like I can't handle my life and He pushes me through and keeps me going.

wow i am an idiot.

what is the matter with my brain?

school days

being here is making me the happiest i have been in a long time.

i love boers cottage and i love the ladies that i have been blessed to live with.

each day is an adventure, even so far.

i could not be more satisfied with my life right now.

i have...

regrets.
i didn't do anything this summer.
i worked.
very hard.
and i made money.
but what good is that.
i have no tan.
i didn't do anything exciting.
bummer.
this year at school looks so promising.
i can't wait.
i love my friends.
summer is over.
but school is coming.
and school will be the best 8 months of my life.